Relationship

Marriage, sex and procreation

Across all classes of the society, marriage is still considered as a ‘must’. For a man it is a rite of passage to the most important and wholesome stage of life; one by which he can give birth to a son who would eventually release him from reincarnation. Procreation is perceived as a ‘duty’ of every married couple. For the same reason, sex within the context of marriage, is not only accepted as a normal and a sacred part of life but also celebrated by ceremonies from menarche to marriage. Also, Asian men expect to exercise dominance over their wives, especially in the realm of sexual activity, a factor that could result in increased concern over their ability to fulfill the perceived demands of that role. (D'Ardenne,1986). Anecdotally, Asian men tend to have more concerns about their sexual potency than Non-Asian men.

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The majority of marriages are still arranged by the parents and significant family members. For Indians, an arranged marriage is a union of two families and affects their standing in society. The positive aspect of the arrangement is the support of the extended family to the young married couple. This of course works well when the couple has consented willingly to the union. On the other hand, the arranged marriage is likely to fail when the couple is forced into a union bringing serious consequences to them and the family status. Anecdotally, the arranged marriage system is said to have some negative impact on the sexual and relationship aspects of the couples.

To be married

Ancient Indian texts highlight the importance of love and pleasure in sex, but always within the context of marriage (Gupta, 1994). In India, pre-marital and extra-marital sexual relationships are considered immoral and condemned by all sectors of the society. However, these cultural norms are being challenged by the youth of today. Recent research with university students indicates that young people, both men and women, seem to be rejecting traditional Indian value systems and engaging in premarital and non-procreative sex (Sachdev, 1998).

In modern India, the to-be-married couple are encouraged to communicate and get to know each other in all aspects of life except sex which while recognized as very important is considered to be inappropriate and unacceptable before marriage.

Those who are in a relationship (generally called ‘lovers’) tend to seek sexual pleasure by kissing, touching and hugging (and if situation permits have inter-course). Public expression of love is still seen as an inappropriate activity in the mainstream society. Also, they discuss many matters of life after marriage but the topic on sex is well reserved for a later stage, mostly after marriage. Fear of losing the relationship, shyness and embarrassment are the common concerns for both men and women.

IT IS IMPORTANT TO ‘TALK’ ABOUT MATTERS RELATED TO SEX AND EXPRESS THE LIKES/DISLIKES. THIS CAN REDUCE THE ANXIETY AND SOME OF THE HONEYMOON SEXUAL PROBLEMS.

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Last Updated on Thursday, 17 June 2010 17:52